So very cold and tired. Turning on the little electric heater beside the bed for some warmth, and lighting a few candles hoping to diffuse the chill in the air and the feeling of darkness closing in around me tonight. I am full of so many questions but no forthcoming answers. So for now I live the questions fully. I warm myself with miso soup, a dog cuddled across my belly, and books that prod me forward, one little step at a time.